this mother fucker is the voice of nemo
shit i think i want to fuck nemo
this little fucker goes to my college— I’ve met him. To make matter worse, he’s sweet and shy. And hates it when people whisper “fish are friends, not food” around him.
oh my god
by the way did I ever tell y’all about the time I got a blank message from nobody, sent on new year’s eve in 1969, when the internet didn’t exist?
because that happened
What the fuck
Or maybe its from 2069, when we’ve developed the technology to send data to the past. You sent yourself a blank message as a test but as the email address you used to send it doesnt exist yet, it came up as no sender
OKAY KIDS, LET’S LEARN ABOUT THE UNIX EPOCH
So back in the early days of computers, when we were trying to build clocks to keep all our computers in sync, we tried a bunch of different ways to synchronize them in ways that both normal people could use and programmers could utilize.
We just tried saying “The current time is THIS date” and just storing that date as some text, but while that was easy for humans, it was a bunch of different numbers that worked together in funny ways and computers don’t play nice with a bunch of random, arbitrary rules.
Not much worked, until we realized that we needed a BASELINE to compare against, and a way to represent the current time that covers everybody. So we came up with Unix time, because Unix was the style at the time. Essentially, Unix time represents any given time by saying “How many seconds ago was 12:00 AM on January 1, 1970 in Iceland somewhere?”. Recent enough to keep the numbers relatively small, far enough that nothing computer-y would fall before it, and consistent enough that there’d be no discrepancy based on where you are.
So what happens when you see the date “December 31, 1969” on a buggy message like this is that the computer received a bunch of zeroes by mistake and went “Oh, this must be a message!” Then when it tried to interpret it, it got to the date, found a zero, and said “Zero seconds since the Unix Epoch? I’ll round down - this was sent at the last second of New Year’s Eve, 1969! They’ll be so happy to finally get their blank message.”
And then the computer traipsed off on its merry way, because computers are fucking ridiculous.
This is frankly more hilarious than the 1969 time traveler theory
OKAY. OKAY. WHAT THE UNHOLY HELL. OH GOD I’M SO MAD. HANG ON LOOK, KEEP READING THIS AND I PROMISE I’LL BE MORE CALM.
In 2012, a 17-year-old boy named T.J. Lane killed three fellow classmates in a school shooting, and was sentenced to life in jail. But wait, that’s not the worst part. This kid pulled a few nasty stunts to really show how much of a pathetic monstrosity he is. In the courtroom during his trial, he took off his more formal clothing to reveal a white undershirt with the word “KILLER” crudely written on it. He was smiling and laughing while the case progressed through the day. And to top it off, when he was finally sentenced [to life in prison], he turned to the families of the victims he killed, and said, “This hand that pulled the trigger that killed your sons now masturbates to the memory. F—- all of you,” before flicking them off. As if this sick waste of human life couldn’t get any more disgusting.
AND NOW, FOR THE DAMN KICKER: This vile animal has somehow managed to fucking escape prison with a fellow inmate, and is currently on the run. I urge any and all of you to spread this info around and be fully aware of the tragedy this vermin has caused. He must be found and apprehended as soon as possible, and if I’ve made anyone more aware, I’ve helped this cause.
I WANT HIM OFF THE STREETS AND AWAY FROM EVERY OTHER HUMAN BEING. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW INFURIATED I AM. I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY OBSCENE LANGUAGE BUT I’M PISSED OFF AT THE AMERICAN JUSTICE SYSTEM AND THIS IS ONLY ANOTHER NAIL IN THE COFFIN.
he still breathing meanwhile Mike Brown is dead.
He is still breathing while thousands of innocent/unarmed/guiltless black people are deceased.
He’s trash and the fact that some weird ass people are fans over him is fucking disgusting.
I’m gonna start an all girl punk band that sings really offensive songs like, “I don’t know how to tell you you’re bad at oral.”
Our second song is going to be called “My eyelashes are longer than your dick.”
id listen to you guys.
Another song could be “Christ will come before I do.”